Let’s face it, any year that starts with the death of David Bowie isn’t gonna be a great one, but way back in January I had no idea how bad it was going to be! As I sit here on the last day of the year looking out of my bedroom window at the fog that has descended on the world outside making it look kind of apocalyptic it sets a fitting scene for reflection on a year that has taken so much from us…2016 really has been the year that kept on giving. The world has seen so much, celebrity death/terror/brexit/president trump…. But personally in the lives of my friends and family, there’s been so much loss. The death of close friends, life changing accidents, house fires, mental health problems,bullying. We’re almost afraid of what might happen next…
If someone asked us if we could wipe 2016 from history and make everything go back to the way it was at the end of 2015, I think most of us would say yes, do it. There really isn’t much positive to take away from the last 12 months, sure we’ve had some fun, we’ve had some nice holidays, my husband and I made it through our first year of marriage (yay!) but it’s mostly been hard work
However, I have to be honest,I’m also really proud of what I’ve achieved this year. I’ve been on a journey, a journey to learn about myself and about the world around me, a journey that I chose to go on and I’m so glad I did. I am a very different person now then I was 12 months ago. I’ve learnt to like myself, I’ve learnt self reliance and respect. I’ve learnt when all else fails I can still see the good in life and that has changed my entire perspective.
I’ve been bullied constantly by my sexist boss and treated with very little respect by other colleagues but somehow didn’t let it ruin my confidence. In fact, I’ve learnt to be more confident now than I ever was and I finally realize that I have the power to change things. I’ve learnt how to de stress and control my temper, I’ve learned about meditation and yoga but most importantly I’ve started to learn about what really makes me happy and I can’t wait to carry on my journey. I’m not a miserable person but had got really caught up in misery and I’m so pleased I’ve been able to start to change that.
The last three months have been particularly hard on me and my family after a life changing car accident a young family member suffered. We are on a different journey now, one that I never imagined in my worst nightmares and has made me question everything I believed about life. I always believed in fate, always believed that everything happened for a reason and trusted in that, I can’t even begin to imagine why this has happened to such a wonderful and lovely human being, but this isn’t the end of the journey, three months down the line and at the beginning of rehabilitation things are looking a lot more positive and although there’s a long way to go, we spent Christmas as a family as we do every year, none of us forgetting how close we came to not having that. I’m beyond thankful for everything we have in life and it’s not lost on me how lucky I am.
I think this year, more than ever I’ve grown and changed. I’ve let go of a lot of things and at 36 years old feel finally capable of facing the world as an adult (better late than never huh?) 2016 has thrown some shit at me and I’ve survived, I’m here, stronger yet more compassionate than ever, The ups and the downs never stop and this roller coaster keeps going….
I think we all feel that in our own way, we made it! And now, we can achieve anything! Have fun celebrating tonight and remember that we really can achieve anything!
Each dawn is a new day, whatever else this new year brings, it brings hope…