Babies

Waiting…


I’m a control freak, and I’m trying to get pregnant. These two things do not go hand in hand. Anyone who’s ever tried to get knocked up will tell you that the whole baby making process requires patience and calm, and for all the ovulation kits/pregnancy apps and pregnacare vitamins in the world will just happen when it happens.
For the average control freak this is difficult, I make lists in my sleep and like to plan things meticulously, so for me, the waiting is agony.

I’m a career lady and provide the main source of income in my marriage so there is a lot of uncertainty around how we will afford a baby when we are blessed with one, but most of all it’s the question of when that I find stressful.
The decision to have a baby didn’t come lightly, a lot of thought has gone into it, we decided ages ago but wanted to have one last holiday as a couple before having children, booked it, waited months for it and now it’s over I feel like there’s been a fair amount of waiting already. Now we’re here, trying to make babies, trying to be calm and patient when I just want to be pregnant now!
Whist waiting and trying to be calm i have found that I’m worrying so much about every little thing that could happen in life to affect me having a healthy and happy child I could almost talk myself out of the whole idea!
I think in my little mind I hadn’t really considered the time it might take to actually get pregnant. I think I secretly thought that we’d try one day and then I’d wake up the next day with a baby in my tummy. Of course, that hasn’t happened and I’m trying not to freak out about it, not to feel depressed or worry myself off the whole idea. 

The purpose of this isn’t to give people advice on how to get pregnant because clearly I’m not, but to share some of the things I’m doing to stay calm and hopefully help along the way. I’m not being too sientific about it and I’m not, as yet, using ovulation tests (give it time!) I am however taking pregnacare vitamins and trying to eat healthy. I’m terrible for junk food so I’m drinking home made fruit and veg smoothies every day to ensure I get some goodness. Most importantly I’m working hard on my positivity and letting go of stresses, the thing I’m finding that gives me most clarify is reiki, it rebalances all the bodies energy and I don’t know how, but it really relaxes me and helps me to focus my mind on the good stuff and shed all (or at least some of) the stress and worry in life.     Is it working? Not so far, but it does help me to be calm and collected and healthy and patient and have faith that it will happen in its own sweet time…..

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